Fergus the Angel

This day 4 years ago, I got married. They say one's wedding day is the happiest in one's life, but for me it was the day after when all the fuss was over and done with (like marriage but hate weddings!), and we could get on with the business of just "being". How has marriage been? Well I've been pleasantly surprised really; I thought marriage would adversely affect romance etc (time and kids have done that, not marriage!) but we still are in love, though that's easy to forget during rough patches when one wonders what the hell one was thinking, lol, but they are outweighed by good patches. I love signing my name "Mrs Lorna Byrne" - I find a certain protection in marriage and find that I get just that little bit more respect from the outside world (not much mind you!) than I did when I was a single gal. The old-fashioned idea of the man as the "protector" appeals to me. Let me tell you what kind of a man my Fergus is, and what an extraordinary difference he has made to my life...

When I met Fergus, I was under 7 stone (had not eaten "properly" for months due to depression/anxiety/stress and had to take Complan to keep my weight up. I had been addicted to sleeping pills (and tranquilisers as well at one point), and had been off work due to depression/anxiety, due to a previous relationship break-up and my mother being ill (she herself suffers from depression but much worse than I ever have done). Basically, although I was beginning to get better on the night I met Fergus (otherwise I wouldn't have been in the pub in the first place in order to meet him!), I wondered if I'd ever live a "normal" life again, where I didn't get nervous about going out and meeting people. Thoughts of ever meeting anyone and having children were certainly neither likely nor even desirable.

Then, one night whilst out with my cousin....I met Fergus....and that was it. I nervously agreed to a date, after my cousin persuading me that it would be no harm to show up, and that she knew him and he seemed "like a nice fellow". Had a panic attack before the date, but I did show up, and we were inseparable after that. For whatever reason, and it’s still a mystery to me to this day, he was smitten with me (he apparently rang up his friend after our first date and said he’d found “The One”!). I was slightly more cautious about giving my heart away as it had been trampled on before, but I found him so attractive and felt so comfortable with him, that it was easy to fall in love. He told me he loved me within 2 weeks and that he wanted to stay with me forever within a month. Within weeks I was eating normally again and eventually put on a stone. Within months, though I found it hard, I came off the sleeping tablets altogether. I started working again, and soon…..I was living a ‘normal’ life, and we were planning a future and everything. He knew my weaknesses, and still accepted me and loved me. Around the time we met, my mother was very ill and took around 3 overdoses within the first two months of our relationship. A lesser man might have said “too much baggage” but Fergus didn’t. He stayed….and married me. He has always believed in me and built up my confidence instead of taking it away like other men have. My self-esteem was on the floor when we met, now it’s at a healthy level. Our personalities compliment each other. I have tamed him and given him a purpose, and he has expanded my horizons and given me a future. That’s not to mention the two beautiful children we have created. I won’t go on any more….you get the picture……